Journal of a randon person part 2 - fitting in

So being 22 years old, people will argue that I haven't lived long enough to say much about life. But the truth is that I have seen and done more than most people in their 40s have.
I had to grow up quite quickly as a kid. Because I did, I saw more than what kids my age did and experienced more than what many adults did.
A third of my life was spent in court and another third was spent defending my ass from bullies. The rest of it was spent day dreaming and sleeping. If that's all I was doing then how on earth have I experienced more than most?
              I learned a lot from being in court. Mostly that court was really boring. At 8 years old I spent a lot of time in one specific room made for just for kids. They made it like that so that the copper colored building wouldn't be so scary for the little people my age. I can remember that room so well that I could write a 3 part book just on the box of toys to the left of the room near the window.
This might have worked for other kids, but I just wanted to go home and watch TV. I couldn’t care less what it looked like.
Being in court was like the reality series Survivor. It was all about betrayal, lies and false trust.
For the next 6 years I would be moving back and forth from mom and dad; each parent trying to out-parent the other. If you read my first blog you would get where the "Roof zone" comes in.


I quickly adapted to my concrete surroundings and learned how to mess with lawyers, judges and social workers.
I found it quite amusing really.
I still find it amusing that kid could outwit the best bull shitters around. Even todai I still can’t stand lawyers and their nonsense. However if I want have a litttle fun or a laugh, I'll just argue with one.



Going through what I did, I had to learn how to cope with life. It was hard sometimes. So hard that eventually life just became one big joke. I couldn't take things seriously anymore because I didn't want to.
I mean why should I have?
I couldn't be comfortable with anything because it would just be taken away from me a few months later.
That’s when I started day dreaming. Man, those were the best. The world around me became amazing! Everything was amazing in my head and boy did time fly.
The best part was that I got away with it because teachers and other people felt sorry for me.
That was a part of my life that I could cope with.
            Unfortunately kids weren’t as nice as the teachers were. They couldn’t care less that the kid in the corner of the class was having a hard time; they were too self involved and young to understand. When they saw a kid, they saw something that was different from what they are. So naturally they tried to kick my ass.
Unfortunately for them I was just a little bigger than they were and well... they failed miserably.
But I still didn't want to fight anyone. I was all about the hunter and the hunted. But I didn't want to become a bully either. I just wanted to sit and goof off into my own world.
But it was still about the "food chain" and the other kids weren't about to let that happen.



By high school, I had a strong imagination and ticker that was running strong. I still couldn't give a shit about school, but I did want to start fitting in.
At first it was hard and I had some jackasses to contend with; but things were starting to change and I was adapting to the world around me.
The thing that really stood out most to me, that had always helping me cope was humour.
The best thing in the world to was is laughter. 
What was even better than that was seeing others laugh.
I would sit for hours watching the stand-up comedy of Bill Cosby, Barry Hilton, Richard Prior and other comedians.
Those guys made me happy man, and they made other people happy. If they could do it, then why couldn’t I?

I started telling jokes… and they laughed!
And for that they liked me...
For once I fit in like the other kids did. They really, really liked me....
I had what I wanted. I was top of the food chain. My strong imagination was helping me. All those years of goofing off. 
But I wasn't happy. There was something missing in my life. There was a big empty hole in the pit of my stomach and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't fill it.
It remained empty for some time and It got to me.
Why couldn't I fill this DAMN HOLE?

            It was until one day, in my final year of high school. I was doing my thing and making people laugh like a ussually do. But there was something... Something caught my attention. I should actually say someone caught my attention.
This empty hole in my stomach started filling up... with butterflies!
The feeling in my stomach was like nothing I have ever felt before.
Who was this person that suddenly made everyhing so different?
It was her.
She was new to the school and was listening to me talk crap about being a farm boy. Something I said made her laugh. It blew my mind.  At that very moment the world seemed to stand still and it didn't seem so bad.  The most beautiful thing in the world was standing in front of me.

And she was laughing at me...

Jounal of a random person

So yeah...

Life is pretty ironic sometimes, especially when it comes to being me.

After high school I became the black sheep of the family. I implemented a few things into my life that was.... well... different.

I was pretty much always a different person, but - it wasn't really a problem because I was in the "you will listen as long you are under my roof" zone. Because of it, my parents were quite comfy knowing that little Adrian will never be different. They went as far as saying that being different is "kak" (crap).

So 'living under their roof' left them pretty much blind to what was really going on. Sure there was the occasional complaints of  bad marks and my room being messy, but "Poof!", a few days later the irony of life would completely erase the memories that dubbed me "different".

Man, I tell you something; it was a blessing at times.

That thing called memory loss is just another word for 'Irony'.

The symptoms started in primary school. By symptoms, I mean being a goof. 

I started day dreaming at the most inappropriate times. I remember getting a tongue lashing by some chick that thought I was staring at her backside. What had really happened was that I merely rested the side of my head on my fist and continued to stare into the unknown. The lass just happened to stumble into my "Standby mode" line of sight. The candle was there, but wasn't burning. 'Course she turned around and had something to say.

I only really came too when I received a delightful punch through the face from the surprisingly strong girl.

Later on symptoms got stronger. I became a master of unintentional topic changing. like really, I mean I would be in a group of people talking about one thing and I would fade away to the other end of the universe and bring back with me the randomest of random. 

The one day I was sitting in math class and the teacher was on about Pythagoras and the meaning of x. Mid-sentence and to the teachers surprise, a kid in the back of the class happened to raise his hand. The teacher abruptly stopped what he was doing and asked what I wanted know...

"Sir, do you know Ché Guevara?" ...

 Yeah... Ché Guevara. That was me. I was so random that Douglas Addams had nothing on me.

By 12th year I had a solar system of things floating around me that screamed irony. I had gotten up to so random crap, but I still happened to be cloaked by mom and dad's roof. By the end of matric year this white little sheep seemed to be "50 shades of grey" darker. I was one heck of a force to recon with. A really random one, but a self knowing one at that.

 

When school finished I packed my bags, kicked down the front door and said hasta la vista to mom and dad's roof. With a deranged smile on my face I strutted down the road; ready show the world who Adrian is and what random can can become.

   

The first thing I did was something I wanted to do for years before I left high school. I became a vegetarian.

Right now is the moment when you start telling me how good bacon is and that according to your religion it's blasphemous to not eat meat (Yes, I have been told it's blasphemous).

I never did so before because it was a "kak" idea and because my dad is a conservative Boer Afrikaaner. It's all about Rice, meat and potatoes man. My dad is so Afrikaans that if he was any more so, he would be the color khaki. I'm not saying his skin would be khaki; he would be the actual color itself.

In the boer industry, you had to either be dead or not eating at all in order to not eat meat. Even the chickens got a nice serving of Ouma se potjie.

In the end, if you were a vegetarian, you were the village idiot.

The next thing that I did was express my views on religion, or rather the lack there of. Yep, I became an atheist. To some this is a real taboo topic; especially to an Afrikaaner. I think this is probably what pushed me off into the deep end. The roof was no longer there to cloak me and mom and dad started crapping themselves. At first they thought it was a phase that I was going through or a mid-midlife crisis (if that makes sense).

I went with my dad to enrol at a University and in the application it asked what religion I was. I enthusiastically responded with, "Atheist". My dad quickly shushed me and told me not to say that so loud. I think my grandmother was more shocked than anyone else. I stayed with her in the town of George for my final years of high school and every Wednesday and Sunday I skipped down our farm road and went to church. She would later learn I only went to church because of a girl I fancied. If my grandmother is however reading this, this is the later I mentioned a few sentances back. (love you granny)

My mom still thinks its a phase 5 years later.

Then I got a tattoo. not the huge and over powering kind. The kind of one that fits and has meaning to it. This is what made my dad give up and give in. His response was, "Oh great, he's got a tramp stamp." It brought tears to my eyes; the kind that you get from laughing really hard. I wasn't laughing because of what my dad had said, but because of the way he said it. My dad had accepted that a little different wasn't so "kak" at all. because of the few things I did differently, I had become someone who was unique. I was an individual.

I think that sometimes being a black sheep amongst white sheep is good. I like who I am and my family do too. I like being random too.

I always have something to talk about.